Wednesday, December 8, 2010

And So It Goes…

I have been lax about updating this blog. It is not that I haven’t been watching the episodes. It’s just that I found I had no energy at the end of the day to write about them. After fighting valiantly for two weeks, I crawled into the doctor’s examination room and was rewarded with the diagnosis of a nasty sinus infection. No wonder Thanksgiving dinner had tasted like paper. I was bone weary. Walking to the kitchen to make tea was like running a marathon. Dressing became an Olympic event. If resting had been one, I would have taken the gold. Today is the last day for my antibiotic (which, much to my surprise and delight, is also used to prevent malaria), and I am feeling better if not completely myself.

Josette knows what it is like to not feel like herself. Waiting to meet Barnabas at Widows’ Hill, Angelique appears and shows Josette what she would become should she stay with Barnabas. The hideous image is more than Josette can bear and she flings herself from the cliff. Poor Barnabas is inconsolable.

Victoria does not feel like herself, trapped as she is in 1795 and on trial for being a witch. Abigail Collins, who insisted Victoria was a witch, finds herself face-to-face with Barnabas. Knowing she cannot be trusted, Barnabas is forced to kill her. This does nothing to help Victoria as Abigail’s cohort, the horrible Reverend Trask, convinces the court that Victoria must hang. He is then tormented by a vengeful Barnabas…unnerving laughter, a giant hand with the trademark ring, and a promise of death. Barnabas finally lures the reverend to the old house, reveals what he has become, and seals Trask alive inside the basement wall.

Millicent is not at all herself. She was romanced by Lieutenant Nathan Forbes, a shady character looking for money, only to discover the man was already married. Nearly driven mad, Millicent plans his demise. When her efforts fail, she retreats to the security of family. But Forbes’ wife is soon killed by Barnabas. Free to pursue her again, Forbes is certain he can win Millicent’s hand. Certain because he has learned that Barnabas is alive. He is sure that Barnabas is insane and guilty of several murders. He uses this information to blackmail Joshua and force him into letting the nuptials take place. Shortly afterwards, Millicent sees the light from the tower. Forbes, knowing who must be there, forces her to go looking for the source. She investigates, discovers Barnabas, and is driven truly mad.

Joshua isn’t his usually calm self. He has discovered that his son is cursed, a vampire, a dead soul trapped  in the world of the living. He hides Barnabas in the tower as he searches for a way to release him from Angelique’s spell. Engaging Natalie duPres, he hopes to conjure someone to help Barnabas. Such a woman appears and works feverishly to free Barnabas, but Angelique is too strong. As the old woman prepares to leave, she bursts into flame. Her pitiful screams mix with Angelique’s demonic laughter.

I am certain the characters wish they had a small brown prescription bottle promising better days in a mere 240 hours.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Shutters, Blinds, Heavy Curtains: My New Christmas Wish List

I am not fond of windows at nighttime…

When I was a very little girl, I stumbled into the bathroom late one night during a storm. When a bright flash of lightning illuminated the window, I let out a blood-curdling scream. My parents came running, only to find me shaking uncontrollably and babbling about a man’s face in the window. My dad ran outside but no one was there. Certain I had been dreaming, they tucked me back into bed. It took a while, but I finally settled. Maybe I had been dreaming.

The next day, my dad found that the jack-o-lantern flowers under the window had been crushed by heavy footprints.

Flash forward to the summer when I was 17. My parents were out for the evening, my best friend was at my house, my brother was out with friends, and Salem’s Lot was on television. As mentioned before, I love scary movies. Not gory. Scary. And Salem’s Lot (the original not the remake) is a good scary movie. It ranks up there with Carrie and The Shining and Psycho.

So Kathie and I made a huge bowl of popcorn, turned out all the lights, and prepared to be terrified, sitting in the blue glow from the set. At one of the scariest points in the movie, when a young boy is using his long nails to scratch at his brother’s bedroom window (from outside mind you), my brother and his friend thought it would be funny to scratch at the French doors in the living room (from outside). I turned when I heard the sound, saw faces in the windows, screamed, and started to hyperventilate. The boys were laughing uncontrollably until they saw I wasn’t able to catch my breath. They came running in, yelling and apologizing, while Kathie was trying to help me settle. It took forever to calm down enough, to get enough energy, to chase after those two idiots while throwing heinous threats about what I would do when I caught them.

Nope. I do not like windows at nighttime…

Sarah, Josette, Natalie, Melanie…they all understand how I feel. Barnabas, unable to let go of Josette, keeps appearing outside the windows at Collinwood. A quick glimpse of a pale man in the moonlight frightens each of these women. No one really believes they are seeing anything. Overactive imaginations. Stress. Exhaustion. I think if the men would have just looked, they would have seen trampled flowers below the windows.

But Josette not only sees Barnabas, she hears him. After following the vague remembrances of a dream, Josette searches for him near the graveyard. Upon finding him, Barnabas tries to send her away, but Josette begs him to let her stay. Barnabas finally leaves her, knowing it is best for Josette. The next night, though, Barnabas returns to say a last good-bye. Josette clings to him…and Barnabas, true to his new nature, bites her. Josette promises to meet him the next evening at the old house so that they can be together forever.

We are already privy to the Collins’ family history, so we know this doesn’t end well for Josette. She runs off Widows’ Hill and Barnabas mourns her loss for eternity.

My suggestion? Keep the curtains closed at night…and invest in noise cancelling headphones.

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Vampire Diary

When I was 17, I had the opportunity to play Mina Murray in our high school production of “Dracula”.  I loved being onstage. I always played such sweet, funny, eccentric characters. Oh, Mina was sweet to start but then she gets bitten by Dracula and she changes. She becomes seductive. Tough for me to pull off now let alone at 17. That aside, Mina became a vampire so Mina needed fangs. No funny little plastic ones for me. I got to go to the dentist and have them made. It was awesome. Well, getting them made was gross but the fangs themselves were so cool. Are cool. I still have them.

There were a couple of problems with the show, though. My sexy, black, loose-fitting vampire dress was tied in knots over both shoulders and had a tendency to slip a bit. One night, when Mina “fainted”, both sides slipped. I was to be lifted to a standing position by the leading men…which meant, unless they helped me, that dress was going to slide right to my waist..in front of all the people in my Catholic high school auditorium. I was panicked. The leading man, who happened to be my best guy friend since elementary school, was in his glory. While other lines were being said, I was frantically whispering that he had to help me. Being a boy, hence evil, he just kept grinning at me as he rubbed my wrists and patted my flaming cheeks. My heart was pounding and I had quickly moved from begging him to threatening him. His response? “Be nice to me or I let the dress fall.” I am still here and not hidden in a closet of shame so you must have guessed that he came through for me at the last minute…and never let me forget that I owed him!

The other problem I had was an extremely ticklish neck. Each time Dracula draped me over his arm, swirled his cape around me, and bit my neck, I would giggle. It’s hard to create a dark, mysterious mood when the leading lady is giggling as “blood” runs down her neck. One night, the director had enough. When the giggles started, he walked on stage and slapped my face. Not hard. Just enough to get my attention. He told me to think about that when I was getting my neck bit…and I didn’t laugh again, as you might imagine.

I thought about all this backstage drama as I watched Barnabas come to the realization that his eternal life, the curse put on him by Angelique, came with the added disadvantage of being a vampire. When Barnabas awakens for the first time and discovers he is in the mausoleum with Angelique poised to kill him with a wooden stake, he does what any vampire would do. He strangles her. Not what I expected, but I went with it. I wondered if Angelique giggled during rehearsals, but then he wasn’t biting her neck. I wonder now about the others who actually get bitten later.

If they had a problem, I hope the director tried talking them through it first.

Not true. What I really hope is that they slugged him back. Think about that…

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

“Chilllleeeerrrr”

When I was a little girl, my grandfather moved into the apartment upstairs. I couldn’t have been happier. He spoiled me rotten: buying me M and Ms and chocolate-marshmallow ice cream, playing hide-and-go-seek and pretending he didn’t know where I was even though all the dishes from the cupboard were neatly stacked on the floor, letting me crawl up on the back of his big comfy chair and brush his hair (what little there was) while we watched television together.

Grandpa also worked nights which meant that my Mom and I cleaned his apartment on Saturday evenings. I loved it. Oh, not so much the dusting and vacuuming but when we finished, we watched Chiller Theater together. That hand coming out of the ground. Shiver. It looks campy now, but I remember it being spooky and scary. I had to cover my eyes a lot of the time.

I am still a fan of scary movies. Not gory, slasher movies, but truly mess-with-your-mind-scary movies. Psycho really frightens me even though I what’s going to happen when she gets in that shower. I like Pet Cemetery but I am especially careful around my cat after watching it…and I make sure she is asleep when I do watch it, just in case she is as smart as I think she is. I adore The Shining, but always feel a wee bit unsettled after seeing it as I am married to a writer. Night of the Hunter? That movie causes me to lose sleep each and every time I watch it. And the last time I watched it was late at night and I was all alone. Almost as dumb as Janet Leigh…almost.

The last ten episodes of Dark Shadows has a lot of spooky moments. Conniving Angelique decides that she will nurse Barnabas’ ego now that Josette has married Jeremiah. But Barnabas has way too much testosterone to settle for that, so he challenges Jeremiah to a duel. Barnabas wins and Jeremiah is mortally wounded. The family thinks all the strange happenings are being caused by a witch and are determined to find out who it is. They send for a preacher…from Salem. Dum, dum, dum.

The preacher ties Victoria to a tree as a test. If the tree dies overnight, it proves she is a witch. Barnabas finds Victoria and rescues her. Angelique follows them and causes the tree to die. Now the family firmly believes Victoria is the cause of everything: Josette marrying Jeremiah, the strange markings of the devil on Josette and Jeremiah, Joshua being turned into a cat (thankfully, he has no recollection of that event), Barnabas’ strange illness…and they vow to destroy her.

Still not satisfied, Angelique continues her tirade. She secretly makes Sarah violently ill and then promises to heal her with a special tea if Barnabas will marry her afterwards. Barnabas promises. Sarah is healed. Barnabas reneges because he still loves Josette. Oh, when will he learn!

So, Angelique beckons Josette in a dream to find her true love, Jeremiah. She convinces her that Jeremiah isn’t really dead. And when Josette gets to the cemetery and whispers Jeremiah’s name, his hand reaches up through the ground!

Holy smokes! Just like Chiller Theatre!

And, yes, I did have to cover my eyes!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

I like witches. I don’t know any personally, at least none who have come out about it, but I like the literary ones…

Hermione Granger (cool name, smart girl, sweet red-headed boyfriend named Ron); Samantha Stevens (if only I could wrinkle my nose like that, laundry would be a piece of cake); Gillian Holroyd ( who wouldn’t want to bewitch Jimmy Stewart: see October 6th post); The Grand High Witch (Roald Dahl knows how to scare the bejeepers out of a kid with a character like this one); The Charmed Ones (good teamwork but, when I think about it, they really thrive on way more drama than I am comfortable with); Willow Rosenberg (really, really smart, funny, thought about ending the world with her dark powers and who hasn’t wanted to do that?); Glinda (sure she makes my teeth ache with all her sugar, but I wouldn’t mind travelling in a giant bubble and the whole wand thing intrigues me); and Elpheba (the coolest of all witches with her selflessness even in the face of being completely ostracized- and I appreciate a pretty shade of green)

Angelique, however, is not so likeable.

Okay. Barnabas should not have led her on. We all know that. But it happened. He apologized. Get over it. But no. Angelique sets out to show Barnabas that he really needs and loves her, and if it means destroying everyone else just to make her point, she seems to be okay with that.

Make Ben your slave? Sure. Cause Josette to fall in love with another man? Why not? Make Jeremiah betray Barnabas and run off with Josette? Sounds reasonable. Shame Josette’s family? Okay, I’ll admit to condoning that…they are pretentious.

Deception. Destruction. Making up outlandish stories just to get what you want. It’s all in a day’s work for Angelique…and Christine O’Donnell, but that’s another post completely.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Oh, How Time Flies!

I have often wondered what it would be like to live in another time…

I like the 1920s clothing and the dances and the music…but I also like a lovely glass of wine now and then…

I enjoy big band music and think dancing in a grand ballroom to Glenn Miller would have been divine. Of course, there was that whole depression aspect that might not have been so fun…

I love the 1950s. I adore the clothes and the music. How fun to have a poodle skirt and dance to Elvis! Then again there is the whole “a-woman’s- place-is-in-the-home” mentality that I might not have stomached very well…

So I guess I will stay where I am…which is what I am certain Vicky Winters is thinking…

In the middle of a séance, while Carolyn is faking that she is the long-dead Sarah and Barnabas is quivering with fear that the real Sarah might vindictively reveal his secret, Vicky is suddenly possessed. She begins to tattle on Carolyn, saying that she is not telling the truth. Suddenly, the lights go out and a scream rends the night. When Barnabas finds the light, we discover that Vicky is no longer in the room. Another woman, dressed in strange clothing has taken her place. And what of Vicky?

She discovers herself in the old house, which is actually the only house…in 1795!

This is an interesting story arc. We are finally going to learn what caused Barnabas to be turned into a vampire. It seems he has angered a young woman, the maid of his fiancée, by trifling with her affections. The angry girl vows she will teach him a lesson and almost kills him. She changes her mind at the last minute and we are left to wonder what she will do next. Poor Vicky, in the meantime, must figure out a way to explain her appearance, her clothing, and her odd behavior. The Collins’ family somewhat reluctantly agrees to keep her on as Sarah’s nanny.

1795…cumbersome clothes, no rights for women, no indoor plumbing, no chocolate peanut butter pie…I think I will stay right here and simply enjoy the music and clothes of another time.

I am sure I can bring back pillbox hats, crinolines, and long gloves. I’ll think about how while I enjoy a small glass of wine and some chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Ah, the joy of 2010…

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Where Have All the Good Ones Gone?

So, I was right. Poking both a vampire and his monster-loving accomplice with a big stick during the dark of night when they are strongest proved to be a bad idea. Dr. Woodard is with us no more. Sad really. He was a smart, likeable character. The actor always knew his lines and had what felt like a genuine rapport with the other characters.

And then there is Burke Devlin. The first actor, who burned with a quiet rage, was reportedly fired because of a drinking problem. It took me a while to get used to the new Burke, but then I warmed to him. He was very sweet with Vicky, seemed to have dropped all his hatred for Elizabeth, showed great interest in David , and was even grudgingly civil to Roger. He too always knew his lines. I respect that. I mean if you have a job to do, then do it well.

And if you do your job well, you’ll be rewarded, right? Burke went off on a business trip and his plane has gone down over the Amazon and he is presumed dead. And Willie? The psychopath turned minion of Barnabas turned champion of Maggie? Willie is in an asylum for the criminally insane.

Oh well. So much for keeping the talent.

Now Barnabas, in order to regain his youth, has bitten Carolyn and controls her completely. A once vacuous character, Carolyn now shows some depth. She is devoted to Barnabas and wants to give him his fondest wish: Victoria as a bride. Carolyn is sweet to Vicky, coaxing her to visit with Barnabas and accept his offer of help in rebuilding the west wing of the mansion. She is fierce, however, when dealing with Dr. Hoffman. She desperately wants to shove Hoffman out of the picture…and I’d be thrilled if she could.

I cheated and looked at IMDB to see if Grayson Hall, the actress, got killed off any time soon. Sadly, she is with the show until the bitter end. She is just not a very good actor. She forgets lines and has long pauses where she tries to remember. And even when she does know her lines, she overacts. Dramatically. But someone must have thought she had talent. So I checked. Hmmm…her husband, Sam Hall, was a writer for the show. Interesting. He also did a documentary piece on this last disc.

Near the end of his fascinating monologue, he said that he learned not to write a story that had Grayson playing the final scene. He said it was because she always overacted. Given a line about someone almost being killed and when the camera cut to her, she “looked like Lillian Gish”.  Ouch.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Oh, for the Love of Wrinkles

“I worry she may leave me for another man.”

My husband has said that on a number of occasions. He has said it in front of our daughter, our friends, and his family. Oh, he doesn’t worry that I will take off for a sunny island with the neighbor’s dark-eyed, dark-haired, muscular pool boy or fly to Vegas with a blonde, blue-eyed stock boy from the grocery store. Nope, his concern is with a different type of man…thinning white hair, bit of a tummy, lots of wrinkles.

Yep, I just really enjoy being around men of retirement age and beyond. I like their stories. I like their stories the first time I hear them and the second and the third. I like their cardigan sweaters. I like the smell of Old Spice. I don’t mind hearing aids or false teeth or pants that ride just a bit higher than the waist. I even think dark socks with shorts is kind of cute.

It isn’t just my husband who knows this. My best friend, my mom, and my daughter have all given me the secret look that says “I KNOW you wanted to run off with him!” when we run into an especially dear older man. Just to be clear, I don’t really want to run away with them, but I wouldn’t mind coffee and sweet rolls and talk about “the old days”.

The last disc of Dark Shadows put me in mind of my predilection. Barnabas has been receiving treatments from Doctor Hoffman. These treatments are to restore his humanity. It never occurred to either of them that restoring a 200-year-old man’s humanity might also return his body to its true age. As one might imagine, Barnabas was not especially delighted to find that he was suddenly an old, old, old man. I, on the other hand, loved it.

I think Barnabas looked wonderful! His face was full of wrinkles and dark circles and bags. The skin at his jaw line was sagging. He had character. He looked as though he had lived two hundred years and could share the most wonderful stories if someone would offer him a comfortable chair and a warm drink. Maybe a quilt for his knees. The make-up was phenomenal. It was hard to believe I was looking at the same character. If not for the documentary piece at the end of the disc, I would still have doubts.

Alas, no one told Barnabas how rich his new old life could be. He craved a way back to his younger self…and he found it in Carolyn. She has become the new Willie and Barnabas has returned to his younger but less interesting self. Sigh.

But I do think I finally saw a few grey hairs on my husband’s head the other day…

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Have We Learned Nothing?

Okay, people. We all need to stop and think for a minute…does righteous indignation have any place in our repertoire when dealing with monsters?

Let’s think about what we know from horror movies. Opening the door to the basement and climbing down the stairs in the dark without a flashlight looking for the beast that just ripped apart your three best friends? Stupid move. Not taking the kids and running out of the house and to the nearest neighbor when, as the babysitter, you get a number of really scary phone calls? Stupid move. Getting in the shower at the most frightening hotel run by the creepiest manager ever to turn on a vacancy sign (she had to get that creepy vibe, right?)? Stupid move. Threatening to expose the Phoenix and then driving off to do just that, knowing full well that she enjoys reeking havoc from a distance? I’ll say it again. Stupid.

But here is the clincher. You brave the cemetery to find a hidden coffin, meet and talk to a ghost, promise a young boy you know he has been telling the truth and will expose what has been terrorizing him (making him swear not to tell anyone what you are doing), break into an old friend’s room to find proof that she has been helping a monster, steal said proof and read it from cover to cover…and then…when she approaches you in your office…instead of playing it cool and getting away to the sheriff…oh, no. You start taunting her. telling her she is evil and so is the monster she has been protecting. Saying how you are reporting it all to the police. And when she says that you must keep the secret or be killed, you don’t believe her. Stupid move. Moronic. Way high on the idiot scale.

I would lie. Nope. Didn’t take your diary. Never saw it. Just heading out for coffee (ice cream? new sneakers? beef roast?). You have a good night.

Or, knowing the monster is a vampire, maybe I could just keep quiet until, oh, I don’t know…daylight? You know, when he is napping in his coffin, vulnerable. Find him. Do the whole stake thing. Then get cocky.

Maybe I know better than these people because I live with a couple of the artistic types. They are interesting, delightful, and talented people but they can be a tiny bit moody on occasion. I have learned, after a few admitted missteps, not to poke the bear with a sharpened stick. Perhaps I could be a consultant to those less enlightened.

I fear the good doctor will not be around long enough to write a check for my advice.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Finally, a Bat!

I had pneumonia once. It was not a pleasant experience. It was a pretty bad case, but without insurance, a stay at the hospital was out of the question. I also didn’t have enough sick days accumulated because I was at a new job, so staying home until I was completely well wasn’t an option either. So, I stayed at home a couple of days and then started half days. Not a great way to recover, but I am still here.

While I was home, I spent my days bundled under quilts on my couch as climbing the stairs to the bedroom required more energy than I could muster. One afternoon, while drifting in and out of sleep, I thought I heard a noise under the cedar chest where my television sat. Raising myself enough to take a quick look, I found myself eye-to-eye with a tiny brown field mouse. (To be fair, he was very pretty. Quite tiny. Not at all the terrible beast he will be portrayed as for the rest of this story.) He had popped up through the hole drilled in the floor for the cable.

I screamed. If I could have, I would have jumped on a table and stayed there for the duration. But I couldn’t move. Literally. That scream (which didn’t frighten him in the least) took the last of my energy. I was so weak that all I could do was lay back on the couch, watching him watch me, and cry. Great big soaking tears. I had no one to call to come chase the monstrous rodent away. No big chunk of cheese handy to lure him to the outdoors---or the apartment next door if he preferred. Nope. Just me and the quilt and the big wet tears.

He watched me for hours. Days maybe. Or it may have been a few minutes and I dreamed the rest. My husband finally returned home from a long day and, after listening to my harrowing tale, set a trap for the 500 pound monster. He caught him the very next day and released him in the woods…not teasing me much about the size and disposition of the creature he captured.

David Collins can understand my terror. He too has a visit from a creature he cannot escape…

David is terrified of Barnabas and believes that the older Collins is hiding something in his locked basement. Determined to find out what it is, David visits the old mansion, only to be discovered by Julia Hoffman. She really is a perfect evil accomplice for Barnabas. She is so concerned about her research she will do anything to protect Barnabas, short of murdering Willie who is in the hospital recovering from gunshot wounds he received  when trying to break into Maggie Evans’ room to warn her about Barnabas.

So, David is returned to Collinswood by Julia and sent to his room to await further punishment for disobeying Roger’s command that he NOT go to the old mansion. While there, wind begins blowing through his window…and without warning… a bat comes winging into the room, chasing David. He swings at it. He screams for help. He falls to the floor blocking the door to his own escape and shakes in terror, screaming all the while.

For the last 150 episodes, we only hear the howling of dogs as a signal of Barnabas’ arrival.  Finally we see the vampire bat. It’s not a 500 pound rat staring at him, but I understand David’s fear nonetheless…

Sunday, September 12, 2010

To Color or Not to Color…that is the question…

So, I am thoroughly enamored of the color episodes of Dark Shadows. They are soft. almost pastel, and a little blurry. It’s fun to see the great 1960s styles and fabrics in all their splendor. But I am a bit saddened by the changes in the discs I am receiving…

The beginning of the early discs included the voiceover and the clapboard. I waited each time for something silly to happen. Being in the theatre, I know the behind-the-scene craziness that takes place and how it bonds a cast together. You can tell outsiders about it, but they really don’t understand it. Seeing a glimpse of the cast from Dark Shadows stepping away from their characters was fun to watch. Also if there was a problem with the episode (in other words, it was lost), I used to be informed that I was watching a kinescope (see July 30 post).

Now, however, I get dumped right into an episode. Boom. And some of them are in color while others are black and white. Why? The black and white ones may be kinescope copies, but I am not certain. Perhaps it’s just because I am getting used to color that the jump from one style to another is difficult. The black and white ones seem scarier when I watch them, so that the switch to color on the next episode makes it seem cartoon-like. I hope they pick one format and stick with it soon.

On to the storyline: Barnabas is terribly afraid that David knows his secret. He believes that the ghost of his dead sister, Sarah, has told David. David goes searching for Sarah in the cemetery, hears Barnabas coming and hides in the secret room in the mausoleum where Barnabas was trapped for years. When Barnabas begins to enter the secret room, David hides inside Barnabas’ coffin. David remains undiscovered, but he cannot figure out how to get out of the secret room once Barnabas leaves. Sarah finally appears to him and tells him where to find the lever that opens the door. Barnabas returns just as David is leaving the mausoleum and insists that he return to the old homestead. His plan is to question David and kill him if he feels David knows too much. David is refusing when Burke arrives and scurries him home to Collinwood.

Meanwhile, Maggie explains that Dr. Hoffman really isn’t helping her try to regain her memory and her family doctor removes Maggie from Hoffman’s care. Dr. Hoffman is also in trouble with Barnabas who has repeatedly threatened to kill her if anything goes wrong with their plan.

This plotline appears to be coming to a pinnacle, and color or no color, I can’t wait for the next disc.

Friday, September 10, 2010

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

When I was a little girl, we had a black and white television set. It wasn’t big. It sat on a tv stand. There wasn’t a remote. We had to walk to it to change the channels. There weren’t 500 channels, either. Maybe we had twelve. It didn’t matter. We had it good. My cousins only got two channels besides PBS. (No offense, PBS. I adore you now, but not so much when I was little…)

The first movie I can remember watching on tv was The Wizard of Oz. I couldn’t wait to see it. You know, you had to wait back then. No VCRs. No DVRs. No copies you could rent or buy and watch any time. The television stations controlled our viewing habits.

Being little, and the movie being so long with commercials included, I couldn’t stay awake passed the scene in the poppy fields. Not when I was four. Not when I was five. And I don’t even think when I was six. But then, then I turned seven and the yearly showing of The Wizard of Oz came around again. Oh, and did I mention, we had a color television by then.

So I am watching the movie, in black and white of course, and it suddenly turned to COLOR! Color! I remember being so excited! Everything was beautiful…Dorothy’s shoes, Glinda’s gown, the witch’s socks, even the yellow brick road. What a magical moment for a little kid who had no idea what was coming…

Flash forward forty years. I am watching more episodes of Dark Shadows. The online episodes are over and I am back to discs. Only the discs have changed. They eliminated the opening shots with the voiceover and the clapboard. Sad because I really enjoyed those few seconds that could be filled with silliness…

Now the storyline is fine. Dr. Hoffman agrees to keep Barnabas’ secret if he agrees to let her experiment on him. She is certain she can cure his condition if he is willing. He is game and their little escapade begins. Meanwhile Burke proposes to Vicky and Maggie tries to get a little control back in her life. That is all well and good…but here’s the twist…

SOME OF THE EPISODES WERE IN COLOR! Holy smoke! I watched the first three episodes on the disc and they are black and white. Suddenly the fourth episode comes on and the screen fills with color. It didn’t matter that the furniture isn’t the deep red velvets I assumed, but an unimpressive brown or that the clothes are rather dull compared to what I envisioned. Maggie does have lovely red hair, though ( and I am a big fan of red hair). Not all of the episodes are in color, so it was a bit disconcerting.

I will admit though that my reaction to color was exactly the same as when I was seven…and, really, as an adult, how often do we get to experience such moments of complete wonder?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I Didn’t See That Coming

Sometimes things just take you by surprise. Yesterday, for example. It started off as one of our ordinary adventure days. We got up early, loaded the kayaks, and headed for the lake. It was relatively quiet when we got there… there was a birdwatcher we accidentally disturbed and a few fishermen. The lake was even lower than last time, but we pushed our way through the mud and the duckweed and started to paddle somewhat leisurely. About 15 minutes into our adventure, out in the middle of the lake, my daughter and I started teasing my husband that we were too tired to paddle around. We would let him cruise the lake and we would just float. My daughter just started towards my husband when the unthinkable happened. She bumped his kayak. In slow motion, I watched him dump into the lake. In a flash, my daughter overcompensated and followed my husband. I didn’t see that coming.

They both popped up, surprised and a little stunned. They were okay but turning the kayaks over was impossible. So began the swim to shore. Both are excellent swimmers so I wasn’t concerned. Then I realized how far it was. Okay. A little concerned. My daughter left her kayak for the fishermen to tow (bless them!) and she held on to my tow line.(Did I mention I am not a good swimmer and the thought of getting dumped myself weighed heavy in my thoughts?) As we neared the shore, the weed and scum and mud thickened. Gross.

I took off my shoes before I got out of the kayak. Stepping on shore, I immediately sank to my ankles in mud. Really gross. My husband headed back out for the remaining kayak while my daughter and I headed toward the dock. Two more steps and we were calf-deep in foul-smelling mud. Two more steps and it was nearly knee-deep and the fishermen were calling, “You’ll have to go through the woods!”

Well, I couldn’t scrape enough of the  mud off to put my shoes on without ruining them, so we tackled the woods in socks. After jumping a gully, squishing through mucky soil, being scraped and scratched and temporarily trapped, we found the dock. The kayaks were full of water and mud and took a while to drain. Then it was home to scrub the boats and our clothes and ourselves. Like I said, some things just take you by surprise…

The same thing happened last night when I watched episodes #288 and #289 of Dark Shadows. Julia Hoffman has been working undercover at Collinwood. Although she is really a doctor secretly treating Maggie Evans, she is pretending to be a historian researching the Collins family.  Barnabas wants no part of her inquisitiveness. He is right to be concerned.

Julia makes a trip to Barnabas’ home in the daytime and discovers him in his coffin. What do you do with that information? Drive a stake into his heart? Cover him with holy water? Shoot him? Go home and pretend nothing happened? Sure. That one.

Barnabas later comes to Collinwood to apologize and agrees somewhat grudgingly to meet with Dr. Hoffman at his home the next evening. Shortly thereafter, Julia readies herself for bed. She makes quite a show of opening the curtains and the window and turning down the covers. Later, in  her darkened room, we see Barnabas silently appear next to her bed.

Then, out of the darkness, we hear Julia.

“Barnabas Collins. I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been waiting for a very  long time.”

I didn’t see that coming.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Secrets, Secrets

“Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.”  -The Office

My daughter loves that quote. We were watching an episode of The Office last night when she started to laugh and said, “Here it comes!”

Someone should have told Elizabeth Stoddard about secrets. Jason McGuire blackmailed her into an engagement all because he knew her secret- she had accidentally killed her husband and allowed Jason to bury him in the basement. Big secret. Keep it to yourself for 18 years and you are bound to hurt people when you finally come clean.

At her wedding ceremony, Liz refuses to say “I do”. Instead, she admits her secret, the truth stopping Carolyn from shooting Jason in cold blood. The family is understandably stunned. Jason denies anything ever happened and insists Liz is having a breakdown. When she calls the sheriff, Jason runs from the house, closely followed by Burke and Roger, both brandishing guns.

The sheriff arrives and Burke returns without Jason. Together they dig in the basement, uneasy in their roles of finding Paul Stoddard’s body. Shaken, they open the trunk they find only to discover it empty. When Jason is returned to the house, he admits that Paul Stoddard was only stunned when Elizabeth hit him and together, Paul and Jason quickly schemed to trick Elizabeth out of her money. Jason “buried the body” and blackmailed Elizabeth while Paul made his escape. Elizabeth refuses to press charges in order to save the family from disgrace. Jason asks for one day to get his affairs in order, sneaking off to see Willie at Barnabas’ home- not his best plan.

Although one secret is out in the open, another still looms…

Maggie Evans was able to figure out Sarah’s rhyme and escape from Barnabas’ home. Sam found her on the beach and took her to the hospital, where Maggie awakes, believing she is a little girl. In order to save her from whoever kidnapped her, Sam and Joe agree with the doctor’s plan to send her away and tell everyone she has died from shock. So far, their plan is working. Everyone believes Maggie has died. Everyone including Barnabas Collins, who is planning to create a new Josette---from Victoria Winters.

“Secrets, secrets…”

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Secret Shame

I haven’t been to a proper tea since my husband took me to a private one several years ago for my birthday. It was delightful, right down to the crown I got to wear!

Yesterday I attended another tea party. This one was held by friends who wanted to get an eclectic group of women together to share tea and conversation. Seated around a beautifully arranged table complete with silver and china and flowers, the seven of us started with savory tea sandwiches (my favorite being the goat cheese with fresh basil, roasted red pepper, and onion on cocktail rye) followed by scones with jam and cream and blueberries and raspberries with whipped cream served in chilled wine glasses. The last course was lemon tarts, cheesecake squares, mini-cupcakes, and a variety of cookie bars. All of this was served with delicious teas and stimulating conversation.

At one point, these college-educated, worldly women admitted to their secret shame: reality television. Toddlers in beauty pageants, home makeovers, housewives behaving badly, cooks yelling at each other---all the shows I have never seen and never will see. My quietness couldn’t help but be noticed as I am usually anxious to toss in my two cents.

My host whispered, “You don’t watch any of these shows, do you?”

“Um…no.”

But no one thought to ask me if I have a secret shame. I would have had to admit to being obsessed by 1,199 episodes of Dark Shadows. I am currently watching episode #260. Dark Shadows may not be babies in tiaras, but it is shameful in it’s own right.

Maggie is still being held by Barnabas who hopes to convince her that she is Josette. Maggie, dressed in Josette’s wedding gown, listening to Josette’s music box and being kept in Josette’s bedroom, was confused for a long time. That spell has finally been broken and Maggie is longing to escape. She heard her father and Joe talking to Barnabas and wanted to scream for help, but Barnabas told her he would kill her and the men if she made a sound. Because she knows who she is now, Barnabas has locked her in the cellar until he can decide whether to make her his own or kill her.

A new character has arrived: Sarah. She is a ghost (I think she is Barnabas’ sister, but that’s just a guess) who appears to Maggie. Maggie doesn’t realize she is a ghost and begs the little girl to help her escape. The girl offers a rhyme that may lead to a way out. Sarah also appears to Sam Evans and tells him to look for Maggie on the beach in the evening---then she disappears.

Elizabeth’s agreeing to marry Jason causes Carolyn to resort to crazy behavior. She stays out until all hours and runs with a rough crowd. She announces she will marry a motorcycle riding beatnik unless her mother ends her engagement to Jason. She later is in a car accident where she almost kills a woman and is arrested. Vicky convinces Elizabeth to pick up Carolyn from the sheriff herself to show how much she loves her. Elizabeth agrees to leave Collinwood, her safe haven for 18 years, to collect Carolyn, only to have her daughter reject her again.

I am anxiously waiting for episode #261. That (and once buying a whole chocolate cake with thick buttercream frosting at 9:30 at night just because I wanted something sweet) is my secret shame.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Thicker Than Water

I had to get blood drawn the other day. The nurse was so efficient, I barely realized she had put in the needle when she was already removing it. That was a good thing. I’ve never fainted, but I always get woozy. Bring a needle near me and the ocean sounds in my head and my stomach leaps to my throat. Someone else’s blood doesn’t bother me, though. I have cleaned numerous scrapes and cuts and gaping wounds in my teaching career without ever having that funny feeling.

Lucky for me as the last few episodes were filled with blood. Oh, not like in movies where it covers the scenes like thick red paint. This was far more subtle.

The doctor who was treating Maggie finds something puzzling in her blood sample. The doctor then insists on drawing blood from a reluctant Willie, fearing he may have the same condition as he has exhibited the same symptoms. Could this be an epidemic? Could the answer to Maggie’s disappearance somehow be found in Willie’s blood? (The doctor posed that question, not me.) Then we hear about blood that was spilled at Collinwood years before. Blood that chains Elizabeth to Jason as he is the only one who knows that Elizabeth killed her husband. And slimy Jason, who makes my blood run cold, blackmails Elizabeth into agreeing to marry him so her secret will not be revealed to Carolyn, a move that could still cost Elizabeth her daughter.

Missing Maggie

Maggie Evans has disappeared from her hospital room. She was so weak she could barely lift her head, but at nightfall, she managed to escape from her hospital room in the time it took her nurse to walk into the hall to page the doctor.

Where could she be? Why is she gone?

Barnabas knows. He has Maggie hidden away in the old manor house.

Barnabas has begun recreating his former life, starting with the homestead. Furniture. Carpets. Lighting (all candles as the home has no electricity). A commissioned portrait identical to the one of Barnabas that hangs in Collinwood. He is also recreating his long, lost love.

Once upon a time, Josette, the great love of Barnabas, threw herself from the cliffs in order to escape the evil she discovered he had become. Maggie is being molded into the new Josette. Barnabas traps her in his home, dresses her in Josette’s wedding gown, gives her Josette’s music box, keeps her in Josette’s splendidly redecorated room. He tells her that Maggie Evans never existed. That she has always been Josette. Maggie, in her weakened state, believes she is Barnabas’ love.

The town searches feverishly for Maggie. Some of them question Barnabas at his home. Several times they missed seeing her by seconds. Sam and Joe nearly walked in on her. David speaks to her, thinking she is the ghost of Josette.

Will the spell ever be broken? Can someone bitten by Barnabas ever truly return to their previous life?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Would Some Chocolate Help?

No one knows what to make of poor Maggie Evans.  Normally a vivacious young woman full of spitfire and vinegar, she has been ill for several days. She wakes late and only when her father rattles her cage. She is weak and pale and unable to go to work. She doesn’t want to eat or drink anything. She sleeps the entire day away. She cries and complains of being cold. She has a pain in her neck (a real one, not her drunken father or strapping boyfriend). But worse than how she feels during the day is how she acts at nightfall.

Maggie feels better. Strong. Energetic. Ready to be up and about. Making pleasant conversation. Just as suddenly, she turns angry. She snaps at her father. She quakes at the sound of the howling dogs. She tries to sneak out of her house. She tells her boyfriend that she doesn’t need a babysitter, that she doesn’t want him for a boyfriend. She fights the doctor. She screams to be left alone.

And then there are those two puncture wounds on her neck that no one can explain.

My funny husband says he’s seen it before, thinks it all sounds like a bad case of PMS… and said that maybe he should check to the necks of the women living in his house. Like I said, he’s funny.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Try Not to Wake Sleeping Beauty

When I was in college, I lived in an all-girl’s dorm. The top floor only had thirteen rooms and twenty-five girls so we were very close. We didn’t get a lot of unintentional foot traffic, so we left our doors unlocked a good deal of the time. I had to rethink that after one embarrassing incident.

When I was a senior one of my friends was dating a football player. I knew who he was, of course, but I had yet to meet him. One night, he was visiting Mary in the dorms. They got to talking and she mentioned me.

“You know Amy.”

“Nope, I don’t think so.”

“Sure you do. She works in the cafeteria. She’s really short with straight, light brown hair. She works the desk a lot or behind the line.”

“Um, maybe, I’m not sure.”

So, Mary decided to see if I was in.

I was in alright. I was sound asleep, probably drooling or snoring or both. That, however, didn't stop Mary. She barged in and, bringing her boyfriend right over to my flannel-clad shape,  whispered, “Do you recognize her now?”

He wasn’t sure so he got really close to my bed and leaned way over. Peering at me so intently, I am certain he was mesmerized by my sleeping beauty.

“Oh, yeah. I know who she is!”

“See. I told you. I knew you’d recognize her.”

Thankfully, I slept through their unexpected visit and only learned about it the next morning. The girls on the floor all thought it was hysterical, but I could only imagine what it would have been like to suddenly wake up in a pitch black room only to see a big, hulking, strange man inches from my face!

I had forgotten this story until I saw the latest episode of Dark Shadows. Poor Maggie was sound asleep, fighting off nightmares, when the French doors to her room slowly opened and Barnabas Collins strolled in. He stood at the foot of the bed staring at Maggie.

I could easily imagine how she would have felt had she startled awake at that moment. Fortunately, she remained asleep just like I did. She didn't see Barnabas’ fangs illuminated in the moonlight while I only missed the silly whisperings and giggles of my friend and her boyfriend.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Let’s Hear It For Barnabas Collins

Okay, I will admit that I really enjoyed the first 209 episodes (at an average of 20 minutes each that is a true time commitment) of Dark Shadows. I like the characters. I like the quirky lighting and shaky sound and off-stage mistakes. But nothing, nothing, compares to the arrival of Barnabas Collins.

Now fellow fans already know this and I hate to be a spoilsport to those newbies who may have stumbled across this blog, but Barnabas is the original charming, handsome vampire. Oh, we don’t KNOW that he is a vampire yet but there have been clues: he was released from a chained coffin; he asks the portrait of Josette why she didn’t protect him when he lived in the manor; he describes the relationship between a young man and his father and how the father killed the man right on the stairs in the old house; he talks about how the Barnabas in the portrait (claiming he is his ancestor) outlived all his enemies.

And then there is the return of Willie.

Willie went missing for a while after he opened the coffin. Everyone was worried. They didn’t really miss him, they just wanted to be sure he was gone. Just as suddenly as he disappeared, he’s back. But he’s a changed man. He is quiet, subdued. He is apologetic and sincere. He is afraid of the dark.

No one knows what to make of the new Willie. They all agree something is off about him. He must be sick and should remain at Collinwood until he feels better able to leave.

I think when nightfall comes, they will change their minds.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Thum-Thump, Thum-Thump, Thum-Thump

 

We all fear things that go bump in the night.

Shortly after we moved into our big old Victorian home, my husband had to be away overnight. We don’t live in a particularly large city. Crime is evident here but not something I worry much about other than taking normal precautions. I am a college-educated woman with a variety of life experiences that make me more than capable of taking care of myself.

Nighttime, though, changes everything. As soon as it got dark, I scampered upstairs with several books and a pot of hot tea and barricaded myself in the bedroom. Yep, barricaded. The house was built in such a way that sections of it could be closed off with locked doors. The alarm system was set. I was perfectly safe.

Not long afterwards, the floors started creaking. I knew it was just the house settling. Of course that’s all it was. What else could it be? Then I heard footsteps. Heavy footsteps. My heart pounded and my palms were sweating even as I was convincing myself that no one could possibly get in the house. Then the cat, not very light of foot, appeared at the foot of the bed. Relief really does feel as if it washes over you. Minutes later, though, the cat began staring at the other bedroom door- the locked one leading to the hallway. The door leading to the top of the stairs that leads to the front door that I KNEW I had locked. Didn’t I? The cat settled about 30 minutes later. I never did. I slept with the lights on and waited for daylight.

Willie Loomis was hearing things too. (Heartbeats.) He kept staring at the portrait of a member of the Collins family. (Heartbeats.) Willie wanted the jewels the man was wearing. (Heartbeats.) They had to be worth a fortune. Rumor had it some members were buried with their riches. (Heartbeats.) Willie was greedy. Who would miss jewels stolen from a grave in the dark of night? (Heartbeats.) No one else could hear those beats. Not Jason McGuire. Not the caretaker at the cemetery. Just Willie. Call me a baby, but I would have given up grandiose thoughts of ill-gotten gains and raced like a jackrabbit away from the cemetery, the town, the state, maybe even the country. Willie wasn’t a baby. Willie was a dope.

He opened the chained (yep, chained) coffin

in the mausoleum

at the cemetery

at night.

He was ecstatic, surprised, then horrified in a split second.

Enter: Barnabas Collins.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Willie or Won’t He Stay?

Think for a minute about a bad date you once had. One where you discovered you had nothing in common and couldn’t wait for the clock to chime your escape. Or maybe it was one where the young man appeared handsome and charming until you were alone with him and then he became an octopus with a threatening disposition. Now imagine that, instead of being able to escape to the safety and comfort of your home, your mother has invited the disagreeable clod to stay as a visitor in your home? 

Willie Loomis is the most obnoxious character to grace the set of Dark Shadows. He is a dark and evil Maynard Krebs, pouring on the charm in a 1960s laidback fashion, but dark and dangerous beneath the surface. He is nearly in a beer-bottle fight at the Blue Whale during his first appearance. Jason McGuire saves the day and no one senses that McGuire himself may have been the one to bring this smarmy creature tottering on the edge of civility to their little port.

In this series of episodes, we discover that everyone is dealing with the consequences of secrets: Elizabeth is being bullied by Jason because of the mystery in the locked basement room, Willie threatens to expose Jason if Jason doesn’t find a way to make Elizabeth welcome him at Collinwood, and Carolyn and Vicky wonder why Elizabeth is allowing Jason and his wicked friend to infiltrate their home. Roger, on the other hand, has his secret exposed: Sam tells Burke that he saw Roger driving the car that killed a man 10 years before.

These episodes are still building the storyline and are a little slow moving. Never fear, though. Watching them is fascinating because of Jason McGuire and his ever changing accent. Sometimes he is Scottish, sometimes Irish, occasionally a wealthy New Englander and sometimes just a tough guy from an old film.

At first, it is disorienting. But, if you grab a tablet and a cup of coffee, put up your feet and tally each time Jason’s accent changes, you can feel good about wasting away a delightful afternoon.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

It happened. Finally. Laura talked David into going away with her. She convinced him to sneak out of the house and meet her at the fishing shack. When he arrived, she gave him a lantern to hold so he could stare into the flames. See the colors. Feel the warmth. Suddenly, David said his hands were numb and (BUM-BUM-BUM) he dropped the lantern. Finally. The big fire. The whole story of the phoenix. Laura nearly had David convinced to come to her so they would  be forever together in the fire- when Vicky showed up and broke the trance and saved David. End of story arc-thank goodness. My daughter may have enjoyed Laura’s insulting comebacks, but I found her character to be highly annoying. Rest in peace, I guess.

New story arc (part1): a wealthy art gallery owner finds Sam Evans and wants to do a showing of his work from ten years ago. She needs a dozen paintings and he has one week to find them. Cut to Sam (whose burned hands healed immediately when Laura perished) asking Roger for his old paintings. Roger says he’ll sell them back to Sam for what he paid for them ten years ago- $15,000. Sam, infuriated, says that money was for something else- his silence. Sam reveals that Roger was driving the car that killed a man and Roger framed Burke Devlin for it!

New story arc (part2): a stranger appears at the Blue Whale asking questions about Elizabeth Stoddard (who has made a miraculous recovery upon the fiery death of Laura). The same stranger finds his way to the Collins home and charms his way in to see Elizabeth. Elizabeth is less then thrilled to see Jason McGuire, a man from her past. The last time she saw him was 18 years ago- the same time she decided not to leave the grounds of Collinwood. After being bullied, Elizabeth agrees to allow him to stay at the family home, much to the surprise of Roger. Elizabeth also makes Vicky promise she will not tell anyone that Elizabeth was in the basement. Hmmmmm…

What a Parapsychologist Shouldn’t Do

 

Dr. Guthrie is a parapsychologist. He is well-versed in paranormal phenomenon. He knows his way around a crypt and a séance. He isn’t afraid to dig up a grave and open a sealed coffin. He recognizes a trance and the feel of evil. He has convinced the skeptics at Collinwood beyond any doubt that something mystical is happening. So, how does such a knowledgeable, persuasive man manage to make such a colossal mess of things?

Guthrie has seen that Elizabeth Stoddard is under the spell of a powerful trance. He knows that Sam Evans has been badly burned in an unlikely situation. The ghost of Josette Collins seems to be forewarning imminent danger. Yet, knowing how powerful and vindictive Laura Collins can be, Guthrie barges into her cottage and tells her what he knows.

“You are the undead,” declares Dr. Guthrie.

Laura says she can’t decide whether to laugh or cry at his foolishness. What she does instead is to get even.

When Guthrie returns to the Collinwood, the huge eyes of Laura fill the screen as the doctor writhes in agony---the same symptoms Elizabeth Stoddard showed. The only thing that broke Laura’s spell was the touch of David. Guthrie knows that Laura is trying to reach him, prevent him from exposing her secret. Yet, knowing Laura’s plan and that only David can save him, Dr. Guthrie still gets in his car alone to meet the others for what they all hope is the final conclusive séance.

Yep, you guessed it. Bad idea. Heading to the old house, the doctor complains that an oncoming vehicle’s lights are too bright and, moments later, the doctor lies dead beside the road.

Whatever possessed him to grab that particular big stick and poke the mean, nasty Phoenix in her lair?

I am going to miss his character with his clunky black glasses and increasing reliance on reading the script from cue cards.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Annoying the Phoenix

My daughter was trapped this morning. It was too warm and humid to stay in her bedroom, yet downstairs meant watching more of Dark Shadows. Such a dilemma. The humidity won and forced her into the cool of the media room.

I kept teasing her about watching the show with me.

  “I KNOW you love this show. You’re mesmerized it. The off lighting. The charm of Roger and his rich-family accent.”

She finally admitted she was waiting for Laura and her mean-spirited one-liners. Shortly after that, Burke burst in on Laura and Dr. Guthrie.

“What’s he doing here?” asked Burke.

“To tell you the truth, he’s annoying me,” replied Laura.

Just what my daughter was waiting for.

Later, David visits his mother at her cottage only to find her in a trance, staring at the fire in the fireplace. He calls to her several times and finally she responds to him.

“Don’t you ever like to be alone, David?”

“You mean all alone? All by myself? No. Not really.”

“Oh. Well, that’s where grown-ups are different.”

David is a weird one, but he recognizes an insult when he hears one. So did my daughter. It made her tolerance of the show rise just a little.

 

Quick wrap-up of episodes #171-178 (only eight on this disc):

Dr. Guthrie confronts Laura. He tells her that he knows she has an unusual power and when he discovers what it is, he plans to tell everyone. Laura warns him to leave her alone. Shortly thereafter, the good doctor is overcome in a manner similar to that which has incapacitated Elizabeth Stoddard. It is only when David interrupts his mother at her cottage that the doctor regains his bearings. He explains what happened to Vicki and they both realize something is going terribly wrong again in the Collins home.

After learning that the dead body in Phoenix has disappeared from the morgue and while recovering from his strange memory-erasing episode, the doctor decides that he must see the body of Laura’s relative buried in a crypt on the Collins property. Only then will he know if the connection between the death-by-fire of Laura’s relatives in the last two centuries will confirm his suspicion that Laura is really a phoenix.

The last episode ends with Joe and Dr. Guthrie finding the crypt locked. As they prepare to break into it, the door (with a mighty movie squeal to it might I add) slowly opens, revealing not the inside, but looks of surprise and terror on the faces of the Joe and the doctor.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Let the Séance Begin

So the episodes on this disc drag a little…that is, until the last one (#170). Dr. Guthrie has decided that a séance is the only way to discover the force that is keeping Elizabeth Stoddard in a trance. Victoria and Carolyn agree while Laura flat out refuses and Roger believes it all to be nonsense.

As the girls prepare the room by setting chairs and lighting candles, the housekeeper is sent to sit with the sleeping child David. Roger, after making fun of what they are about to do, is convinced to participate on one condition: if the séance doesn’t work, the doctor will leave the Collins home. That is enough to put Roger on board.

After outing all the lights, the group is bathed in candlelight around a small table. They place their hands on the table, fingers stretched and pinkies touching. Dr. Guthrie encourages the group to concentrate on one thing- contacting Josette Collins. Her ghost is thought to be the key to finding out what is happening at the Collins homestead.

While the doctor quietly repeats Josette’s name, Victoria slowly begins to sway and moan. As her apparent trance deepens and thunder rumbles and lightning flashes, the doors to the room suddenly fling open to reveal a person draped in darkness. The trance is broken when the lights come on and Laura Collins enters the room.

She is convinced to participate and another chair is brought to the table. The séance begins again, and almost immediately Victoria is pulled into another trance. She begins speaking in rapid French as the rest of the group watches in surprise. The episode ends with Victoria’s screaming and fainting.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Just a Side Note

The reviews of the episodes are fine and dandy, but I thought you should have a taste of the craziness that makes me love watching DS.

At the beginning of each episode, the clapper board is shown with the video recording date, the air date, and the take number of the episode. The man announcing the information has a deep baritone and I hope a deep sense of humor. Once he finished and then asked if they could hear him or did they want him to do it again. Sometimes you see the actors standing behind him waiting to begin. Sometimes you see smoke from his cigarette blowing across the screen. My favorite was the time the actress he was standing in front of (who happened to be tied and gagged at the time) kept bouncing her knees and making the clapper jump!

At the end of each episode, as the closing credits and music are playing, he gives a little promo for the shows playing in the evening. I know 40 years from now the shows we watch today will sound silly, but I still wait to see just how funny the coming attraction was.

Sometimes it is evident the actors haven’t learned their lines. I am not criticizing. I know how hard it is. I just finished playing Annie Sullivan in The Miracle Worker. Learning a script, working the same lines day after day, is hard work. I can’t even imagine what it takes to learn new pages every day. But that doesn’t stop me from giggling when I see the actors staring over the shoulder of another actor, obviously reading their lines. Or, when they step on each other’s lines, and everyone experiences a momentary fluster.

Sometimes the camera shimmies like it’s in the midst of an earthquake. Once I saw the mic dip into the scene and I’ve seen the mic shadow a number of times. Occasionally there is a loud BOOM like someone has dropped something important or slammed a door without thinking. Sometimes the camera isn’t on the actor who’s speaking or jumps away and lands on nothing before swinging back to the action. It’s a treat when the somber music from a scary scene runs over into the next light-hearted scene.

Part of the reason I watch the show is for the crazy storylines. A real phoenix? Vampires?Ghosts? Demonic possession? It’s hard to believe that it is a true soap opera. I mean it really doesn’t compare to the modern storyline in my favorite soap opera today. There is plenty of sex, children aging ten years in two weeks, numerous marriages and ugly divorces on The Young and the Restless but not a single ghost or vampire. Today everything is so slick---bright lighting, perfect make-up, glamorous clothes. I think I prefer the Dark Shadow days. It’s fun to pay attention to the storyline and see some human mistakes---and a ghost or two.

Phoenix

After being away for ten years, Laura Collins has returned to Collinsport from Phoenix. She is mysterious about why she was in Arizona. She only says she has returned because she wants a divorce and to leave with her son. Roger doesn’t seem to mind. You see, he and David do not have a loving, warm daddy/son relationship. Shipping him off with his mother sounds like a fine idea to dear old dad.

Then the state police show up to tell the family that Laura Collins is dead. She died in a fire in Phoenix. They have proof: matching dental records, family heirloom jewelry, the fact that it was her apartment (locked from the inside). All this is a surprise to everyone who knows that Laura is currently living in the caretaker’s cottage. Laura, however, seems a little less surprised than the others.

David dreams of his mother in fire. Sam Evans keeps painting Laura emerging from fire. Victoria is temporarily possessed and seeks out a caretaker at a graveyard to investigate the history of Laura’s family (which seems to have a strange incident every 100 years beginning in 1767…it is now 1967).

Laura seems able to control anyone who stands in her way. Her large eyes fill the screen as flashes of terrible events happen to other characters. Sam Evans falls asleep and starts a fire in his cottage. Thankfully Maggie saves him. Elizabeth tells Laura that she will fight her in court for custody of David, only to wind up with Laura’s large eyes filling the screen as Elizabeth tumbles down the stairs. Afterward, Elizabeth has no memory of half the day. Doctors assure the family that nothing is physically wrong with Elizabeth as Laura mysteriously appears in Elizabeth’s room and Elizabeth becomes catatonic.

Finally a doctor arrives and can tell the family what has happened. Elizabeth has been put into a deep trance by someone! She must be removed from the home to save her. Meanwhile, the doctor remains to investigate who has this powerful hold over the matriarch. Laura could not be happier to see Liz go as this frees her to push Roger into releasing David to her forever.

Kinescope

Two of the original episodes on the disc with episodes #144-#151 were lost. That’s what the message flashed on the screen. I wonder how that happens. How do you lose an original episode? Who did it? How much trouble found its way to them?

Don’t worry though. The episodes were still on the disc. They were filmed from the kinescope.  The what? Never fear. I looked it up.

“The first and most primitive method of recording television programs, production, or news story, a kinescope is a film made of a live television broadcast. Kinescopes are usually created by placing a motion picture camera in front of a television monitor and recording the image off the monitor's screen while the program is being aired.”

                                                   -Museum of Broadcast Communications

That sounds pretty cool. Early technical. Like magic (which, no matter what science says, is what radio, television, and movies are---oh, and telephones and cell phones and airplanes). That said- it is pretty cool but almost impossible to watch.

This disc delves more into the return of David’s mother and Roger’s wife, Laura. Laura seems “off” right from the start. Her speech is slow. Her voice making everything sound like a question. She seems highly medicated or maybe crazy. Probably crazy.

Laura returns for two things: to secure a divorce from Roger and to take David to live with her. Elizabeth, who has raised David, stands in the way, sensing like the audience that Laura is a few crayons shy of a full box---and I mean the standard 8-pack not the lusted after 64 box with sharpener. Burke Devlin seems to want to reunite with Laura, his girl before she married Roger. This is very upsetting to Carolyn who already dumped Joe to be Burke’s sweetheart. David is terrified of his mother at first, but then he warms to her…and strange things begin to happen.

Such a Simple Story

So, a thorough review of the first 143 episodes seemed like a simple task. Actually putting the story down, though, became quite formidable. Rather than make this a book-length review, here is what you need to know:

Elizabeth Collins Stoddard is the matriarch of an interesting, mysterious New England family. She lives in the ancestral home with her daughter, Carolyn (a young woman more interested in dancing and older men than family matters), her brother, Roger (a charmer with a dark past including the cover-up of a drunk driving death and possibly another murder), her nephew, David (creepier than any Addams Family member) and Victoria Winters (a young woman raised in an orphanage who comes to Collinwood to teach David).

The entire Collins family and the citizens of Collinsport (Sam Evans- a drunk artist who finds himself at odds with the past; Maggie- Sam’s daughter, a waitress in love with Joe; Joe Haskell- Carolyn’s boyfriend and a worker at the Collins family business) find themselves in a state of upheaval with the arrival of Burke Devlin (the man convicted 10 years earlier in the drunk driver accident). Devlin served five years of his prison sentence and was released, working hard to find both money and success. His return means bad news for the Collins family: he wants to punish Roger, take the family business from Elizabeth, and woo Carolyn…and Victoria…and maybe even Roger’s long-lost soon-to-be ex-wife, Laura.

Ghosts and ghost stories are prevalent throughout the storylines. Paintings glow with mysterious light, books randomly open to reveal important plot points, characters are compelled to do things for reasons they don’t understand (walk by the ocean, paint creepy portraits, visit cemeteries, start fires…) all in black-and-white, sometimes poorly lit film stock with plenty of mistakes (from missed cues to unsure line readings to sounds that shouldn’t be heard like doors slamming or something being dropped!) if you are watching and listening carefully.

This should be enough to get you started on the path to enjoying Dark Shadows as much as I do.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

How an Average Woman Spends Her Time Exploring Vampires, Ghosts, Demonic Possession and Time Travel

So, as a young girl in the early 70s, I used to walk home from school with a neighbor girl who was just a few years older. We would go to her house, dump our bookbags, grab a snack and turn on Felix the Cat. That was simply a warm-up as what we were really waiting for was Dark Shadows. That’s right. Long before Twilight captured the hearts of screaming teenagers and lonesome housewives, many of us were already having a love affair with vampires. One vampire in particular: Barnabas Collins.

Now, Netflix has provided me with countless hours of incredible entertainment. I like watching foreign films and BBC comedies, as well as classic films I might never have seen. I also have access to shows I never thought I would see again, so I decided to search for Dark Shadows in order to show my daughter what she had missed. To my delight, the show was available, all 1,199 episodes. That’s right, 1,199! I discovered that the first year was primarily forgotten episodes building the show’s background. I could hardly wait to begin!

I am getting a 9-episode disc about every three days. I have currently seen 143 episodes. I will start this blog by giving you a quick overview of what I have seen to date. Starting with episode #144, I will give you a mini-review of each disc. I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I am going to enjoy writing it!