Sunday, November 14, 2010

Shutters, Blinds, Heavy Curtains: My New Christmas Wish List

I am not fond of windows at nighttime…

When I was a very little girl, I stumbled into the bathroom late one night during a storm. When a bright flash of lightning illuminated the window, I let out a blood-curdling scream. My parents came running, only to find me shaking uncontrollably and babbling about a man’s face in the window. My dad ran outside but no one was there. Certain I had been dreaming, they tucked me back into bed. It took a while, but I finally settled. Maybe I had been dreaming.

The next day, my dad found that the jack-o-lantern flowers under the window had been crushed by heavy footprints.

Flash forward to the summer when I was 17. My parents were out for the evening, my best friend was at my house, my brother was out with friends, and Salem’s Lot was on television. As mentioned before, I love scary movies. Not gory. Scary. And Salem’s Lot (the original not the remake) is a good scary movie. It ranks up there with Carrie and The Shining and Psycho.

So Kathie and I made a huge bowl of popcorn, turned out all the lights, and prepared to be terrified, sitting in the blue glow from the set. At one of the scariest points in the movie, when a young boy is using his long nails to scratch at his brother’s bedroom window (from outside mind you), my brother and his friend thought it would be funny to scratch at the French doors in the living room (from outside). I turned when I heard the sound, saw faces in the windows, screamed, and started to hyperventilate. The boys were laughing uncontrollably until they saw I wasn’t able to catch my breath. They came running in, yelling and apologizing, while Kathie was trying to help me settle. It took forever to calm down enough, to get enough energy, to chase after those two idiots while throwing heinous threats about what I would do when I caught them.

Nope. I do not like windows at nighttime…

Sarah, Josette, Natalie, Melanie…they all understand how I feel. Barnabas, unable to let go of Josette, keeps appearing outside the windows at Collinwood. A quick glimpse of a pale man in the moonlight frightens each of these women. No one really believes they are seeing anything. Overactive imaginations. Stress. Exhaustion. I think if the men would have just looked, they would have seen trampled flowers below the windows.

But Josette not only sees Barnabas, she hears him. After following the vague remembrances of a dream, Josette searches for him near the graveyard. Upon finding him, Barnabas tries to send her away, but Josette begs him to let her stay. Barnabas finally leaves her, knowing it is best for Josette. The next night, though, Barnabas returns to say a last good-bye. Josette clings to him…and Barnabas, true to his new nature, bites her. Josette promises to meet him the next evening at the old house so that they can be together forever.

We are already privy to the Collins’ family history, so we know this doesn’t end well for Josette. She runs off Widows’ Hill and Barnabas mourns her loss for eternity.

My suggestion? Keep the curtains closed at night…and invest in noise cancelling headphones.

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Vampire Diary

When I was 17, I had the opportunity to play Mina Murray in our high school production of “Dracula”.  I loved being onstage. I always played such sweet, funny, eccentric characters. Oh, Mina was sweet to start but then she gets bitten by Dracula and she changes. She becomes seductive. Tough for me to pull off now let alone at 17. That aside, Mina became a vampire so Mina needed fangs. No funny little plastic ones for me. I got to go to the dentist and have them made. It was awesome. Well, getting them made was gross but the fangs themselves were so cool. Are cool. I still have them.

There were a couple of problems with the show, though. My sexy, black, loose-fitting vampire dress was tied in knots over both shoulders and had a tendency to slip a bit. One night, when Mina “fainted”, both sides slipped. I was to be lifted to a standing position by the leading men…which meant, unless they helped me, that dress was going to slide right to my waist..in front of all the people in my Catholic high school auditorium. I was panicked. The leading man, who happened to be my best guy friend since elementary school, was in his glory. While other lines were being said, I was frantically whispering that he had to help me. Being a boy, hence evil, he just kept grinning at me as he rubbed my wrists and patted my flaming cheeks. My heart was pounding and I had quickly moved from begging him to threatening him. His response? “Be nice to me or I let the dress fall.” I am still here and not hidden in a closet of shame so you must have guessed that he came through for me at the last minute…and never let me forget that I owed him!

The other problem I had was an extremely ticklish neck. Each time Dracula draped me over his arm, swirled his cape around me, and bit my neck, I would giggle. It’s hard to create a dark, mysterious mood when the leading lady is giggling as “blood” runs down her neck. One night, the director had enough. When the giggles started, he walked on stage and slapped my face. Not hard. Just enough to get my attention. He told me to think about that when I was getting my neck bit…and I didn’t laugh again, as you might imagine.

I thought about all this backstage drama as I watched Barnabas come to the realization that his eternal life, the curse put on him by Angelique, came with the added disadvantage of being a vampire. When Barnabas awakens for the first time and discovers he is in the mausoleum with Angelique poised to kill him with a wooden stake, he does what any vampire would do. He strangles her. Not what I expected, but I went with it. I wondered if Angelique giggled during rehearsals, but then he wasn’t biting her neck. I wonder now about the others who actually get bitten later.

If they had a problem, I hope the director tried talking them through it first.

Not true. What I really hope is that they slugged him back. Think about that…