Unemployed Again…I Can’t Believe I’m Unemployed Again…

So, a while back my family took a long hard look at where we were and where we wanted to be. It led us to put our home on the (terrible) market and look to move five hours away to an area filled with actors and artists and writers. It took 18 months, but someone finally wanted to buy a big old Victorian home lovingly cared for by us for nearly ten years. We were on our way.

But that meant leaving my job as the town’s Children’s Librarian, a job I truly loved.

In between getting a new job and unpacking boxes and decorating a new home, I am going to get started on this Dark Shadows blog. I have the season I received for my birthday and will write about those episodes…just in time to ask Santa for the next season for Christmas.

I am glad to be back…

I Shall Return!

I just celebrated a birthday. I forget which one it is, so don’t even ask.

A few weeks before my husband asked if there was anything special that I wanted.

Nope. Surprise me.

“How about the next installment of Dark Shadows?” he suggested.

“Uh uh. No way. Too expensive. I will wait for some generous library to loan it to me.”

Fast forward to my birthday…klezmer music, candles, children’s books, …and Dark Shadows!

So, I may have said I didn’t want it, but I could not be more excited. A review of 40 more episodes coming your way soon!

Why, Oh Why Is Netflix Letting Me Down?

Yes, for those of you who follow this blog, it has been two months since I have written. Two months! Why? I am ill? lazy? depressed? overworked? on vacation? Nope.

I cannot continue to write about Dark Shadows because I cannot get the DVDs. Netflix has a giant gap in the seasons that are available. It is not because the seasons don’t exist. They do. I found them on Amazon. I am just unwilling to buy four seasons in the middle of a series. I am one of those all or nothing people…and I cannot afford to buy 1199 episodes so I don’t want to own 200.

I work in a library now so I thought I would try to borrow the missing seasons. I found them in one library in my state and requested them. Nope. They ignored my request. Who knew how precious a commodity I was trying to obtain! I went to the woman in charge of interlibrary loan and she went above the state level---that’s right, national. National. I am trying to borrow Dark Shadows from any library in the United Stated willing to lend it to me. So far, no takers. Not one.

I am hoping beyond hope, now that the library has let me down, that the Powers-That-Be at Netflix will take pity on me and purchase the remaining episodes. Please.

Oh Woe is Me…

There is a very good reason that I have not posted here recently. I am waiting for my next Dark Shadows DVD to arrive. I have been waiting for two weeks. I finally thought about checking my Netflix queue to see when it would be sent…and that’s when I discovered the problem. My next disc is on what is affectionately called “a long wait” list. The one after that…and the one after that..and the one after that are on a “short wait list”. If it goes as Netflix has planned, I will receive the discs out of order. Not a real problem. I’ll bump back the short wait ones until I receive the first one. But wait..a bigger problem.

I am currently waiting for Dark Shadows: Collection 8.

As of now, Collections 9, 10, 11, 14 and 15 have unknown dates of release.

Unknown. Dates. Of. Release.

Please don’t tell me they aren’t available. Amazon has them. In stock. One-day shipping.

Please. It has been a very long, very cold, very snowy winter. I have made a comfy home for every germ that the 200 children I see each week at story times saw fit to share with me. I have a regular fever, cabin fever, the boogie woogie flu and perhaps a touch of rocking pneumonia.

My only real comfort right now (no offense to my family, but I am unfit company for you) is jammies and tea and Dark Shadows.

Please. Please release those DVDs. I am not too proud to beg.

Barnabas-stein

I love acting. It started as that bell in first grade and it has only grown deeper as the years go by. Everything about it makes me happy…learning lines, developing a character, finding costumes, rehearsing, opening night, closing night… the whole shebang.

In high school, I went to NYC with a group of students and four teacher chaperones. We saw all the typical sites and did all the touristy things. We also had the chance to go to a number of workshops. Two stood out. At one, we got to do auditions. I did a cold reading and got high compliments. Yep. I am going to live off that one forever.The other was a make-up workshop. Coming from a Catholic high school (read poor) we made do with whatever make-up we could beg, borrow,or steal (ok, not steal because we were a Catholic high school). Seeing real make-up being done was astonishing. One of my friends came away with a realistic nasty scar. Another looked much like he did later at our class reunion because his thick head of hair was made to look bald.

Dark Shadows seems to have had a Catholic school rather than a Broadway budget when it comes to make-up. It is most evident when they do crazy things like the moving decorative moles on the women when they were in 1795. The shapes and designs really look like haphazardly placed stickers found at the local dollar store. Sometimes the glue used to hold the luxurious sideburns on the men extends well below where it needs to be and shines so brightly there is a glare. A description of the eye shadow would take more space than is available here. Together, it is priceless. But now we venture into new territory.

Dr. Lang has promised Barnabas he can remove the curse forever. How? By placing Barnabas’ essence into another body. Ah, a twisted Frankenstein story. We get to enter a rather silly looking lab filled with bizarre scientific equipment. All the sound effects seem to be a fraction off from the actual action. In the center of the room, a large sheet covers the doctor’s experiment. But when he is uncovered, the make-up, oh the make-up! The stitches on Adam (Barnabas’ soon-to-be new body) are wildly overdone. How they will be healed and covered so the town doesn’t run screaming at the sight of him is yet to be seen.

And yet, even with all the silliness that is bound to ensue, I cannot wait to see what happens next. I will admit, I often imagine myself on the set, crazy eye shadow caked on and decorative mole in place.

The Curse of REM

When I was fourteen, I woke up in the middle of the night to incredible pain in my side. I didn’t want to bother anyone, so I tried to go back to sleep. When that didn’t work, I started pacing…doubling over…pacing some more. When I finally woke my mom, she called my aunt, a retired nurse, who proclaimed appendicitis. After a quick ride to the hospital and an even quicker exam, I was rushed into surgery. None of that is too extraordinary, people have appendectomies every day, but here comes the good part. When I woke up from the anesthesia, I couldn’t move. Not a muscle. I tried. I couldn’t move my arms or my legs or turn my head. I thought for sure something must have gone wrong and that I was paralyzed. Scary thought any time…terrifying at fourteen. I laid flat on my back while big tears ran from the corners of my eyes and filled my ears. It was heartbreaking…and then suddenly I could move. Just like that. Relief really can flood a body. I wiggled every part that could wiggle. When the nurse came to check on me, I told her what happened. She said that I had come too quickly out of REM sleep and that was why I couldn’t move.

Really? Frozen in my sleep? Are you kidding me? Nope. Sleep paralysis is a real thing. I didn’t experience the nightmare aspect of it (devils on the chest, demons laughing and chasing) that many people report but it was pretty darn scary nonetheless. I think perhaps Barnabas would understand my fear.

After Vicky returns to Collinwood, Barnabas becomes terribly frightened. What if Victoria, as the memory of her time traveling adventures returns, is able to recall what she knows of Barnabas’ secret? He cannot allow that to happen. He would be ruined. This fear forces him to make Victoria his servant…one small bite and she must do his bidding. His command? Victoria must run away with him. She must marry him and never again return to Collinwood. Creepy for Victoria but necessary for Barnabas. And then they are on their way, but darn that man who stepped out of the woods and into the path of the car---the man from the past who had loved Victoria!

In her surprise, Vicky jerked the wheel and caused herself and Barnabas to be taken to the hospital. Victoria is bruised but fine. But Barnabas, well he has some problems. The doctor who takes his pulse, who listens to his heart, is, shall we say, a bit surprised. Not shocked. Not appalled. Slightly surprised. Instead of running away screaming, which should make us wonder right away about him, Dr. Lang provides Barnabas with a blood transfusion…a transfusion and a shot… and a chance to look at the sun for the first time in decades. The curse is being managed! Dr. Lang then promises Barnabas that he knows a way to rid him of the curse forever. Barnabas is wary but curious. What could Dr. Lang possibly have in mind?

I believe Barnabas’ terror when Dr. Lang opened the curtains on daylight must have been similar to mine as the tears rolled slowly into my ears. His joy at finding the curse could be gone probably was slightly less than mine when my fingers moved. Just my opinion…

Shaking in the Aftermath

I have never been in a true car accident. I have been in a few near misses, always due to someone else's carelessness and incredible skill on the part of the person driving my car. The only time that person was me was about five years ago. My daughter and I were headed home to see my father who was ill. The weather had been less than ideal, but we forged ahead. Just a few miles from our destination, as we crested the top of a rather steep hill, we could see a plow truck speeding our way followed closely by a large, heavy-duty pick-up. Speeding is the key word. We passed them in the valley and their speed caused us to spin in their wake. So there we were…slowly spinning around…once…twice…three times.

It was surreal. My daughter didn’t yell. Neither did I. She just braced herself as I tried to control the car. Feathery touch on the steering wheel. No gas. No brake. The whole ordeal probably took seconds but it felt like hours before we ended up in the wrong lane facing up the hill with our rear tires in a ditch. I took a minute to collect myself. We weren’t hurt, but I didn’t know about the car. It was too dangerous to stay in the car where it was, too dangerous to get out. So, crossing our fingers, I put the car in second and prayed we could climb out of the ditch. We did. Small miracle.

Once we reached my parents, I started to shake. This is what happens to me…I can hold it together in a crisis or an emergency, but afterwards, there is always uncontrollable shaking. Always.

I thought that’s what should’ve happened on Dark Shadows. I waited for Victoria to start shaking. I mean, there she was, standing on the gallows with a rope around her neck. No hope for rescue. No chance to prove she was really from the future and innocent of the crime of which she was accused. No way to reach her new love. Then, as the trapdoor opened and the rope tightened, Victoria suddenly found herself back in the Collin’s drawing room. The past disappeared and the present returned.  She was frightened and confused and shocked (and, I have to imagine, slightly annoyed) that those she returned to had not missed even a single moment of time in all the months she was gone. That would have been a fine time to start shaking.

Imagine…she had traveled back in time…been accused of being a witch…figured out that Barnabas a was vampire…mourned the loss of her first love…fell in love again…been tired and hungry, chased, mistreated, hidden, found, jailed, and hanged…and the rest of those who had been at the séance hadn’t blinked. Not once.

I would have shaken…if not from a reaction to incredible stress, then from blind fury.

A Brief Hiatus

My daughter has been home for the holidays, so my viewing of Dark Shadows has been put on hold. I shall resume very soon as she is returning to school.

Happy New Year!