And So It Goes…

I have been lax about updating this blog. It is not that I haven’t been watching the episodes. It’s just that I found I had no energy at the end of the day to write about them. After fighting valiantly for two weeks, I crawled into the doctor’s examination room and was rewarded with the diagnosis of a nasty sinus infection. No wonder Thanksgiving dinner had tasted like paper. I was bone weary. Walking to the kitchen to make tea was like running a marathon. Dressing became an Olympic event. If resting had been one, I would have taken the gold. Today is the last day for my antibiotic (which, much to my surprise and delight, is also used to prevent malaria), and I am feeling better if not completely myself.

Josette knows what it is like to not feel like herself. Waiting to meet Barnabas at Widows’ Hill, Angelique appears and shows Josette what she would become should she stay with Barnabas. The hideous image is more than Josette can bear and she flings herself from the cliff. Poor Barnabas is inconsolable.

Victoria does not feel like herself, trapped as she is in 1795 and on trial for being a witch. Abigail Collins, who insisted Victoria was a witch, finds herself face-to-face with Barnabas. Knowing she cannot be trusted, Barnabas is forced to kill her. This does nothing to help Victoria as Abigail’s cohort, the horrible Reverend Trask, convinces the court that Victoria must hang. He is then tormented by a vengeful Barnabas…unnerving laughter, a giant hand with the trademark ring, and a promise of death. Barnabas finally lures the reverend to the old house, reveals what he has become, and seals Trask alive inside the basement wall.

Millicent is not at all herself. She was romanced by Lieutenant Nathan Forbes, a shady character looking for money, only to discover the man was already married. Nearly driven mad, Millicent plans his demise. When her efforts fail, she retreats to the security of family. But Forbes’ wife is soon killed by Barnabas. Free to pursue her again, Forbes is certain he can win Millicent’s hand. Certain because he has learned that Barnabas is alive. He is sure that Barnabas is insane and guilty of several murders. He uses this information to blackmail Joshua and force him into letting the nuptials take place. Shortly afterwards, Millicent sees the light from the tower. Forbes, knowing who must be there, forces her to go looking for the source. She investigates, discovers Barnabas, and is driven truly mad.

Joshua isn’t his usually calm self. He has discovered that his son is cursed, a vampire, a dead soul trapped  in the world of the living. He hides Barnabas in the tower as he searches for a way to release him from Angelique’s spell. Engaging Natalie duPres, he hopes to conjure someone to help Barnabas. Such a woman appears and works feverishly to free Barnabas, but Angelique is too strong. As the old woman prepares to leave, she bursts into flame. Her pitiful screams mix with Angelique’s demonic laughter.

I am certain the characters wish they had a small brown prescription bottle promising better days in a mere 240 hours.

Shutters, Blinds, Heavy Curtains: My New Christmas Wish List

I am not fond of windows at nighttime…

When I was a very little girl, I stumbled into the bathroom late one night during a storm. When a bright flash of lightning illuminated the window, I let out a blood-curdling scream. My parents came running, only to find me shaking uncontrollably and babbling about a man’s face in the window. My dad ran outside but no one was there. Certain I had been dreaming, they tucked me back into bed. It took a while, but I finally settled. Maybe I had been dreaming.

The next day, my dad found that the jack-o-lantern flowers under the window had been crushed by heavy footprints.

Flash forward to the summer when I was 17. My parents were out for the evening, my best friend was at my house, my brother was out with friends, and Salem’s Lot was on television. As mentioned before, I love scary movies. Not gory. Scary. And Salem’s Lot (the original not the remake) is a good scary movie. It ranks up there with Carrie and The Shining and Psycho.

So Kathie and I made a huge bowl of popcorn, turned out all the lights, and prepared to be terrified, sitting in the blue glow from the set. At one of the scariest points in the movie, when a young boy is using his long nails to scratch at his brother’s bedroom window (from outside mind you), my brother and his friend thought it would be funny to scratch at the French doors in the living room (from outside). I turned when I heard the sound, saw faces in the windows, screamed, and started to hyperventilate. The boys were laughing uncontrollably until they saw I wasn’t able to catch my breath. They came running in, yelling and apologizing, while Kathie was trying to help me settle. It took forever to calm down enough, to get enough energy, to chase after those two idiots while throwing heinous threats about what I would do when I caught them.

Nope. I do not like windows at nighttime…

Sarah, Josette, Natalie, Melanie…they all understand how I feel. Barnabas, unable to let go of Josette, keeps appearing outside the windows at Collinwood. A quick glimpse of a pale man in the moonlight frightens each of these women. No one really believes they are seeing anything. Overactive imaginations. Stress. Exhaustion. I think if the men would have just looked, they would have seen trampled flowers below the windows.

But Josette not only sees Barnabas, she hears him. After following the vague remembrances of a dream, Josette searches for him near the graveyard. Upon finding him, Barnabas tries to send her away, but Josette begs him to let her stay. Barnabas finally leaves her, knowing it is best for Josette. The next night, though, Barnabas returns to say a last good-bye. Josette clings to him…and Barnabas, true to his new nature, bites her. Josette promises to meet him the next evening at the old house so that they can be together forever.

We are already privy to the Collins’ family history, so we know this doesn’t end well for Josette. She runs off Widows’ Hill and Barnabas mourns her loss for eternity.

My suggestion? Keep the curtains closed at night…and invest in noise cancelling headphones.

My Vampire Diary

When I was 17, I had the opportunity to play Mina Murray in our high school production of “Dracula”.  I loved being onstage. I always played such sweet, funny, eccentric characters. Oh, Mina was sweet to start but then she gets bitten by Dracula and she changes. She becomes seductive. Tough for me to pull off now let alone at 17. That aside, Mina became a vampire so Mina needed fangs. No funny little plastic ones for me. I got to go to the dentist and have them made. It was awesome. Well, getting them made was gross but the fangs themselves were so cool. Are cool. I still have them.

There were a couple of problems with the show, though. My sexy, black, loose-fitting vampire dress was tied in knots over both shoulders and had a tendency to slip a bit. One night, when Mina “fainted”, both sides slipped. I was to be lifted to a standing position by the leading men…which meant, unless they helped me, that dress was going to slide right to my waist..in front of all the people in my Catholic high school auditorium. I was panicked. The leading man, who happened to be my best guy friend since elementary school, was in his glory. While other lines were being said, I was frantically whispering that he had to help me. Being a boy, hence evil, he just kept grinning at me as he rubbed my wrists and patted my flaming cheeks. My heart was pounding and I had quickly moved from begging him to threatening him. His response? “Be nice to me or I let the dress fall.” I am still here and not hidden in a closet of shame so you must have guessed that he came through for me at the last minute…and never let me forget that I owed him!

The other problem I had was an extremely ticklish neck. Each time Dracula draped me over his arm, swirled his cape around me, and bit my neck, I would giggle. It’s hard to create a dark, mysterious mood when the leading lady is giggling as “blood” runs down her neck. One night, the director had enough. When the giggles started, he walked on stage and slapped my face. Not hard. Just enough to get my attention. He told me to think about that when I was getting my neck bit…and I didn’t laugh again, as you might imagine.

I thought about all this backstage drama as I watched Barnabas come to the realization that his eternal life, the curse put on him by Angelique, came with the added disadvantage of being a vampire. When Barnabas awakens for the first time and discovers he is in the mausoleum with Angelique poised to kill him with a wooden stake, he does what any vampire would do. He strangles her. Not what I expected, but I went with it. I wondered if Angelique giggled during rehearsals, but then he wasn’t biting her neck. I wonder now about the others who actually get bitten later.

If they had a problem, I hope the director tried talking them through it first.

Not true. What I really hope is that they slugged him back. Think about that…

“Chilllleeeerrrr”

When I was a little girl, my grandfather moved into the apartment upstairs. I couldn’t have been happier. He spoiled me rotten: buying me M and Ms and chocolate-marshmallow ice cream, playing hide-and-go-seek and pretending he didn’t know where I was even though all the dishes from the cupboard were neatly stacked on the floor, letting me crawl up on the back of his big comfy chair and brush his hair (what little there was) while we watched television together.

Grandpa also worked nights which meant that my Mom and I cleaned his apartment on Saturday evenings. I loved it. Oh, not so much the dusting and vacuuming but when we finished, we watched Chiller Theater together. That hand coming out of the ground. Shiver. It looks campy now, but I remember it being spooky and scary. I had to cover my eyes a lot of the time.

I am still a fan of scary movies. Not gory, slasher movies, but truly mess-with-your-mind-scary movies. Psycho really frightens me even though I what’s going to happen when she gets in that shower. I like Pet Cemetery but I am especially careful around my cat after watching it…and I make sure she is asleep when I do watch it, just in case she is as smart as I think she is. I adore The Shining, but always feel a wee bit unsettled after seeing it as I am married to a writer. Night of the Hunter? That movie causes me to lose sleep each and every time I watch it. And the last time I watched it was late at night and I was all alone. Almost as dumb as Janet Leigh…almost.

The last ten episodes of Dark Shadows has a lot of spooky moments. Conniving Angelique decides that she will nurse Barnabas’ ego now that Josette has married Jeremiah. But Barnabas has way too much testosterone to settle for that, so he challenges Jeremiah to a duel. Barnabas wins and Jeremiah is mortally wounded. The family thinks all the strange happenings are being caused by a witch and are determined to find out who it is. They send for a preacher…from Salem. Dum, dum, dum.

The preacher ties Victoria to a tree as a test. If the tree dies overnight, it proves she is a witch. Barnabas finds Victoria and rescues her. Angelique follows them and causes the tree to die. Now the family firmly believes Victoria is the cause of everything: Josette marrying Jeremiah, the strange markings of the devil on Josette and Jeremiah, Joshua being turned into a cat (thankfully, he has no recollection of that event), Barnabas’ strange illness…and they vow to destroy her.

Still not satisfied, Angelique continues her tirade. She secretly makes Sarah violently ill and then promises to heal her with a special tea if Barnabas will marry her afterwards. Barnabas promises. Sarah is healed. Barnabas reneges because he still loves Josette. Oh, when will he learn!

So, Angelique beckons Josette in a dream to find her true love, Jeremiah. She convinces her that Jeremiah isn’t really dead. And when Josette gets to the cemetery and whispers Jeremiah’s name, his hand reaches up through the ground!

Holy smokes! Just like Chiller Theatre!

And, yes, I did have to cover my eyes!

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

I like witches. I don’t know any personally, at least none who have come out about it, but I like the literary ones…

Hermione Granger (cool name, smart girl, sweet red-headed boyfriend named Ron); Samantha Stevens (if only I could wrinkle my nose like that, laundry would be a piece of cake); Gillian Holroyd ( who wouldn’t want to bewitch Jimmy Stewart: see October 6th post); The Grand High Witch (Roald Dahl knows how to scare the bejeepers out of a kid with a character like this one); The Charmed Ones (good teamwork but, when I think about it, they really thrive on way more drama than I am comfortable with); Willow Rosenberg (really, really smart, funny, thought about ending the world with her dark powers and who hasn’t wanted to do that?); Glinda (sure she makes my teeth ache with all her sugar, but I wouldn’t mind travelling in a giant bubble and the whole wand thing intrigues me); and Elpheba (the coolest of all witches with her selflessness even in the face of being completely ostracized- and I appreciate a pretty shade of green)

Angelique, however, is not so likeable.

Okay. Barnabas should not have led her on. We all know that. But it happened. He apologized. Get over it. But no. Angelique sets out to show Barnabas that he really needs and loves her, and if it means destroying everyone else just to make her point, she seems to be okay with that.

Make Ben your slave? Sure. Cause Josette to fall in love with another man? Why not? Make Jeremiah betray Barnabas and run off with Josette? Sounds reasonable. Shame Josette’s family? Okay, I’ll admit to condoning that…they are pretentious.

Deception. Destruction. Making up outlandish stories just to get what you want. It’s all in a day’s work for Angelique…and Christine O’Donnell, but that’s another post completely.

Oh, How Time Flies!

I have often wondered what it would be like to live in another time…

I like the 1920s clothing and the dances and the music…but I also like a lovely glass of wine now and then…

I enjoy big band music and think dancing in a grand ballroom to Glenn Miller would have been divine. Of course, there was that whole depression aspect that might not have been so fun…

I love the 1950s. I adore the clothes and the music. How fun to have a poodle skirt and dance to Elvis! Then again there is the whole “a-woman’s- place-is-in-the-home” mentality that I might not have stomached very well…

So I guess I will stay where I am…which is what I am certain Vicky Winters is thinking…

In the middle of a séance, while Carolyn is faking that she is the long-dead Sarah and Barnabas is quivering with fear that the real Sarah might vindictively reveal his secret, Vicky is suddenly possessed. She begins to tattle on Carolyn, saying that she is not telling the truth. Suddenly, the lights go out and a scream rends the night. When Barnabas finds the light, we discover that Vicky is no longer in the room. Another woman, dressed in strange clothing has taken her place. And what of Vicky?

She discovers herself in the old house, which is actually the only house…in 1795!

This is an interesting story arc. We are finally going to learn what caused Barnabas to be turned into a vampire. It seems he has angered a young woman, the maid of his fiancée, by trifling with her affections. The angry girl vows she will teach him a lesson and almost kills him. She changes her mind at the last minute and we are left to wonder what she will do next. Poor Vicky, in the meantime, must figure out a way to explain her appearance, her clothing, and her odd behavior. The Collins’ family somewhat reluctantly agrees to keep her on as Sarah’s nanny.

1795…cumbersome clothes, no rights for women, no indoor plumbing, no chocolate peanut butter pie…I think I will stay right here and simply enjoy the music and clothes of another time.

I am sure I can bring back pillbox hats, crinolines, and long gloves. I’ll think about how while I enjoy a small glass of wine and some chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Ah, the joy of 2010…

Where Have All the Good Ones Gone?

So, I was right. Poking both a vampire and his monster-loving accomplice with a big stick during the dark of night when they are strongest proved to be a bad idea. Dr. Woodard is with us no more. Sad really. He was a smart, likeable character. The actor always knew his lines and had what felt like a genuine rapport with the other characters.

And then there is Burke Devlin. The first actor, who burned with a quiet rage, was reportedly fired because of a drinking problem. It took me a while to get used to the new Burke, but then I warmed to him. He was very sweet with Vicky, seemed to have dropped all his hatred for Elizabeth, showed great interest in David , and was even grudgingly civil to Roger. He too always knew his lines. I respect that. I mean if you have a job to do, then do it well.

And if you do your job well, you’ll be rewarded, right? Burke went off on a business trip and his plane has gone down over the Amazon and he is presumed dead. And Willie? The psychopath turned minion of Barnabas turned champion of Maggie? Willie is in an asylum for the criminally insane.

Oh well. So much for keeping the talent.

Now Barnabas, in order to regain his youth, has bitten Carolyn and controls her completely. A once vacuous character, Carolyn now shows some depth. She is devoted to Barnabas and wants to give him his fondest wish: Victoria as a bride. Carolyn is sweet to Vicky, coaxing her to visit with Barnabas and accept his offer of help in rebuilding the west wing of the mansion. She is fierce, however, when dealing with Dr. Hoffman. She desperately wants to shove Hoffman out of the picture…and I’d be thrilled if she could.

I cheated and looked at IMDB to see if Grayson Hall, the actress, got killed off any time soon. Sadly, she is with the show until the bitter end. She is just not a very good actor. She forgets lines and has long pauses where she tries to remember. And even when she does know her lines, she overacts. Dramatically. But someone must have thought she had talent. So I checked. Hmmm…her husband, Sam Hall, was a writer for the show. Interesting. He also did a documentary piece on this last disc.

Near the end of his fascinating monologue, he said that he learned not to write a story that had Grayson playing the final scene. He said it was because she always overacted. Given a line about someone almost being killed and when the camera cut to her, she “looked like Lillian Gish”.  Ouch.