Wednesday, October 20, 2010

“Chilllleeeerrrr”

When I was a little girl, my grandfather moved into the apartment upstairs. I couldn’t have been happier. He spoiled me rotten: buying me M and Ms and chocolate-marshmallow ice cream, playing hide-and-go-seek and pretending he didn’t know where I was even though all the dishes from the cupboard were neatly stacked on the floor, letting me crawl up on the back of his big comfy chair and brush his hair (what little there was) while we watched television together.

Grandpa also worked nights which meant that my Mom and I cleaned his apartment on Saturday evenings. I loved it. Oh, not so much the dusting and vacuuming but when we finished, we watched Chiller Theater together. That hand coming out of the ground. Shiver. It looks campy now, but I remember it being spooky and scary. I had to cover my eyes a lot of the time.

I am still a fan of scary movies. Not gory, slasher movies, but truly mess-with-your-mind-scary movies. Psycho really frightens me even though I what’s going to happen when she gets in that shower. I like Pet Cemetery but I am especially careful around my cat after watching it…and I make sure she is asleep when I do watch it, just in case she is as smart as I think she is. I adore The Shining, but always feel a wee bit unsettled after seeing it as I am married to a writer. Night of the Hunter? That movie causes me to lose sleep each and every time I watch it. And the last time I watched it was late at night and I was all alone. Almost as dumb as Janet Leigh…almost.

The last ten episodes of Dark Shadows has a lot of spooky moments. Conniving Angelique decides that she will nurse Barnabas’ ego now that Josette has married Jeremiah. But Barnabas has way too much testosterone to settle for that, so he challenges Jeremiah to a duel. Barnabas wins and Jeremiah is mortally wounded. The family thinks all the strange happenings are being caused by a witch and are determined to find out who it is. They send for a preacher…from Salem. Dum, dum, dum.

The preacher ties Victoria to a tree as a test. If the tree dies overnight, it proves she is a witch. Barnabas finds Victoria and rescues her. Angelique follows them and causes the tree to die. Now the family firmly believes Victoria is the cause of everything: Josette marrying Jeremiah, the strange markings of the devil on Josette and Jeremiah, Joshua being turned into a cat (thankfully, he has no recollection of that event), Barnabas’ strange illness…and they vow to destroy her.

Still not satisfied, Angelique continues her tirade. She secretly makes Sarah violently ill and then promises to heal her with a special tea if Barnabas will marry her afterwards. Barnabas promises. Sarah is healed. Barnabas reneges because he still loves Josette. Oh, when will he learn!

So, Angelique beckons Josette in a dream to find her true love, Jeremiah. She convinces her that Jeremiah isn’t really dead. And when Josette gets to the cemetery and whispers Jeremiah’s name, his hand reaches up through the ground!

Holy smokes! Just like Chiller Theatre!

And, yes, I did have to cover my eyes!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

I like witches. I don’t know any personally, at least none who have come out about it, but I like the literary ones…

Hermione Granger (cool name, smart girl, sweet red-headed boyfriend named Ron); Samantha Stevens (if only I could wrinkle my nose like that, laundry would be a piece of cake); Gillian Holroyd ( who wouldn’t want to bewitch Jimmy Stewart: see October 6th post); The Grand High Witch (Roald Dahl knows how to scare the bejeepers out of a kid with a character like this one); The Charmed Ones (good teamwork but, when I think about it, they really thrive on way more drama than I am comfortable with); Willow Rosenberg (really, really smart, funny, thought about ending the world with her dark powers and who hasn’t wanted to do that?); Glinda (sure she makes my teeth ache with all her sugar, but I wouldn’t mind travelling in a giant bubble and the whole wand thing intrigues me); and Elpheba (the coolest of all witches with her selflessness even in the face of being completely ostracized- and I appreciate a pretty shade of green)

Angelique, however, is not so likeable.

Okay. Barnabas should not have led her on. We all know that. But it happened. He apologized. Get over it. But no. Angelique sets out to show Barnabas that he really needs and loves her, and if it means destroying everyone else just to make her point, she seems to be okay with that.

Make Ben your slave? Sure. Cause Josette to fall in love with another man? Why not? Make Jeremiah betray Barnabas and run off with Josette? Sounds reasonable. Shame Josette’s family? Okay, I’ll admit to condoning that…they are pretentious.

Deception. Destruction. Making up outlandish stories just to get what you want. It’s all in a day’s work for Angelique…and Christine O’Donnell, but that’s another post completely.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Oh, How Time Flies!

I have often wondered what it would be like to live in another time…

I like the 1920s clothing and the dances and the music…but I also like a lovely glass of wine now and then…

I enjoy big band music and think dancing in a grand ballroom to Glenn Miller would have been divine. Of course, there was that whole depression aspect that might not have been so fun…

I love the 1950s. I adore the clothes and the music. How fun to have a poodle skirt and dance to Elvis! Then again there is the whole “a-woman’s- place-is-in-the-home” mentality that I might not have stomached very well…

So I guess I will stay where I am…which is what I am certain Vicky Winters is thinking…

In the middle of a séance, while Carolyn is faking that she is the long-dead Sarah and Barnabas is quivering with fear that the real Sarah might vindictively reveal his secret, Vicky is suddenly possessed. She begins to tattle on Carolyn, saying that she is not telling the truth. Suddenly, the lights go out and a scream rends the night. When Barnabas finds the light, we discover that Vicky is no longer in the room. Another woman, dressed in strange clothing has taken her place. And what of Vicky?

She discovers herself in the old house, which is actually the only house…in 1795!

This is an interesting story arc. We are finally going to learn what caused Barnabas to be turned into a vampire. It seems he has angered a young woman, the maid of his fiancée, by trifling with her affections. The angry girl vows she will teach him a lesson and almost kills him. She changes her mind at the last minute and we are left to wonder what she will do next. Poor Vicky, in the meantime, must figure out a way to explain her appearance, her clothing, and her odd behavior. The Collins’ family somewhat reluctantly agrees to keep her on as Sarah’s nanny.

1795…cumbersome clothes, no rights for women, no indoor plumbing, no chocolate peanut butter pie…I think I will stay right here and simply enjoy the music and clothes of another time.

I am sure I can bring back pillbox hats, crinolines, and long gloves. I’ll think about how while I enjoy a small glass of wine and some chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Ah, the joy of 2010…

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Where Have All the Good Ones Gone?

So, I was right. Poking both a vampire and his monster-loving accomplice with a big stick during the dark of night when they are strongest proved to be a bad idea. Dr. Woodard is with us no more. Sad really. He was a smart, likeable character. The actor always knew his lines and had what felt like a genuine rapport with the other characters.

And then there is Burke Devlin. The first actor, who burned with a quiet rage, was reportedly fired because of a drinking problem. It took me a while to get used to the new Burke, but then I warmed to him. He was very sweet with Vicky, seemed to have dropped all his hatred for Elizabeth, showed great interest in David , and was even grudgingly civil to Roger. He too always knew his lines. I respect that. I mean if you have a job to do, then do it well.

And if you do your job well, you’ll be rewarded, right? Burke went off on a business trip and his plane has gone down over the Amazon and he is presumed dead. And Willie? The psychopath turned minion of Barnabas turned champion of Maggie? Willie is in an asylum for the criminally insane.

Oh well. So much for keeping the talent.

Now Barnabas, in order to regain his youth, has bitten Carolyn and controls her completely. A once vacuous character, Carolyn now shows some depth. She is devoted to Barnabas and wants to give him his fondest wish: Victoria as a bride. Carolyn is sweet to Vicky, coaxing her to visit with Barnabas and accept his offer of help in rebuilding the west wing of the mansion. She is fierce, however, when dealing with Dr. Hoffman. She desperately wants to shove Hoffman out of the picture…and I’d be thrilled if she could.

I cheated and looked at IMDB to see if Grayson Hall, the actress, got killed off any time soon. Sadly, she is with the show until the bitter end. She is just not a very good actor. She forgets lines and has long pauses where she tries to remember. And even when she does know her lines, she overacts. Dramatically. But someone must have thought she had talent. So I checked. Hmmm…her husband, Sam Hall, was a writer for the show. Interesting. He also did a documentary piece on this last disc.

Near the end of his fascinating monologue, he said that he learned not to write a story that had Grayson playing the final scene. He said it was because she always overacted. Given a line about someone almost being killed and when the camera cut to her, she “looked like Lillian Gish”.  Ouch.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Oh, for the Love of Wrinkles

“I worry she may leave me for another man.”

My husband has said that on a number of occasions. He has said it in front of our daughter, our friends, and his family. Oh, he doesn’t worry that I will take off for a sunny island with the neighbor’s dark-eyed, dark-haired, muscular pool boy or fly to Vegas with a blonde, blue-eyed stock boy from the grocery store. Nope, his concern is with a different type of man…thinning white hair, bit of a tummy, lots of wrinkles.

Yep, I just really enjoy being around men of retirement age and beyond. I like their stories. I like their stories the first time I hear them and the second and the third. I like their cardigan sweaters. I like the smell of Old Spice. I don’t mind hearing aids or false teeth or pants that ride just a bit higher than the waist. I even think dark socks with shorts is kind of cute.

It isn’t just my husband who knows this. My best friend, my mom, and my daughter have all given me the secret look that says “I KNOW you wanted to run off with him!” when we run into an especially dear older man. Just to be clear, I don’t really want to run away with them, but I wouldn’t mind coffee and sweet rolls and talk about “the old days”.

The last disc of Dark Shadows put me in mind of my predilection. Barnabas has been receiving treatments from Doctor Hoffman. These treatments are to restore his humanity. It never occurred to either of them that restoring a 200-year-old man’s humanity might also return his body to its true age. As one might imagine, Barnabas was not especially delighted to find that he was suddenly an old, old, old man. I, on the other hand, loved it.

I think Barnabas looked wonderful! His face was full of wrinkles and dark circles and bags. The skin at his jaw line was sagging. He had character. He looked as though he had lived two hundred years and could share the most wonderful stories if someone would offer him a comfortable chair and a warm drink. Maybe a quilt for his knees. The make-up was phenomenal. It was hard to believe I was looking at the same character. If not for the documentary piece at the end of the disc, I would still have doubts.

Alas, no one told Barnabas how rich his new old life could be. He craved a way back to his younger self…and he found it in Carolyn. She has become the new Willie and Barnabas has returned to his younger but less interesting self. Sigh.

But I do think I finally saw a few grey hairs on my husband’s head the other day…